What is Love?

Introduction

Introduction

Self-help books

Do self-help books help?

Blase's Story

How did you discover the HTGYLB principles?

What are the HTG YLB principles in general outline?

Ans: Love your partner 100%. Set Limits. If you act what you say, if you really love the person instead of acting out on need or anger, but if you care about the person and are sensitive to where they are and spend quality time with them and you create meaningful moments, moment after moment, that tends to pull the relationship together.

Needs

What do you do with your needs?

Being a 3-D person.

Serial monogamy, Dating services. Pursuing your own interests, being a 3 dimensional person.

What is Love?

Definition: Love is "the active concern for the growth and development of the person you love."

Love Everyone.

The importance of having caring relationships with everyone.

Jealousy.

Men and the "Silent Buddha." Silence does not necessarily mean strength. Limerance.

Meeting people.

Question 10

How can you save a relationship in which only one partner is trying?

Dr. Harris' answer here is fantastic! Call now to View this video!

Relationship breakups.

Is education or wealth the cause of relationship breakups? The medical school syndrome.

Marriage

Marriage

Creating Positive Encounters.

It takes lots of training. You basically have to love yourself first. You have to be happy with life in and of yourself. If you're basically insecure and unhappy and you're looking for someone else to do it with, it's never going to work.

How does love end?

Ans: You're not loving them. If you love them, then you can trigger them back to loving you.

  Politics to Paperbacks

“ Politics to Paperbacks ”

Blase: The problem with the "there's more than one fish in the sea approach" is that if you don't learn to handle a relationship at some point, you never will.

Honolulu Interview

Honolulu Interview

Blase: Loving someone means being in touch with your feelings, the other person's feelings and the importance of the relationship to you.

A Hard-Hitting Interview by Sonya Friedman o f CNN

Sonya Live!

Sonya: Dr. Harris, sometimes I think that's a really bad idea. [T]rying to put all the energy into getting someone back only creates a similar problem to what there was before and can really stop you from moving forward with your life.
Blase: Yes. Always it is a bad idea to put all your energy into getting your lover back . . , but [within a certain context] it is helpful and, I think, even healthy to try and get your lover back . . . if you're acting out of love, not out of some ego-wound.
Sonya: How would you even know? Most people I know call something love which if you looked at the content has nothing to do with that word whatsoever. A lot of what I hear is a definition that I think of as symptoms of the flu - respiration increases and then they start getting very sweaty and their knees turn to jelly and all that, but if that isn't love why would you recommend that they have that back in their lives when it may be the antithesis of what's really healthy for them?

The Ryam Nearing Interview

Introduction

Ryam : We see the statistics of how many people in marriages have affairs . . . .

What is Polyfidelity?

Ryam : All the weight of their intimacy coming from one person -- that's a lot to ask . . .

Christianity vs.? Polyfidelity

Blase : I don't see polyfidelity conflicting with the Christian message. . .
Ryam : Either it's one person forever, or . . . I'm going to be a slut or a swinger . . . There aren't just these two extremes that people conceive of.

Ryam's Personal Story

Blase : So you were able to keep your vows?
Ryam : Yes. [But] I never thought I couldn't love more than one person.
Blase : How did your husband react when you said that there was another man you were feeling close too?
Ryam : He knew I was still in love with him.

Ryam's Second Marriage

Ryam : We went through a long process of integrating our lives.
Blase : They are not feuding together for your attention?

Children and Polyfidelity

Ryam : The fact that there are more adults around eases the burden of having children.